Forever in Research

Dear people interested in the life events of the Danny Malone:

While in a self-induced drug coma, a skinless tiger came to me. He told me to go back to my world, to find a man named Danny Malone. He said Danny had something of the tiger’s that the tiger wanted back. When I awoke eleven years later, I bought a walking stick and a map of the world and set out to find the tiger’s prey. This is what I found instead.

Danny was conceived at 11:11 and born at 12:34 a.m. and p.m. simultaneously. All on the same day. A day which does not exist on present society’s calender. At birth they say he weighed exactly the same as tiny little Baby Jesus: 8 Ibs. 7 oz. He never gained or lost an ounce, even though he appears full grown. Don’t believe me? Prove it to yourself. Walk up to him and grab him by his giant lady hips and give him a toss in the air, but don’t let him land on you; for Danny is not made of the same things as you and yours. Danny is made of marshmallow and razor blades wrapped in tiger skin.

Danny’s music career started quite early. He played his first sold out show in the womb. He now plays music with his sister. There’s speculation that they were, at one time, married. I found no evidence for or against this.

Oh and the dance moves… the dance… Danny owns all of his own dance moves, none borrowed and none stolen. Moves so powerful they have brought peace to warring peoples, joy to the depressed, and a cure for sickness. Once the world started moving in unison to the rhythm of the razor blades rattling around in that striped leather they fittingly announced the official development of a new religion based on the peace and love and all healing power of the dance.

He is a saver and a wrecking ball. He would cut off his arms to bleed life into all that cannot feel and need to love.

He has two sad monkeys. One of these monkeys is the devil himself and the other was born with pterodactyl wings. Danny would do anything that he could to protect these sad monkeys from the probing and dissecting of the scientists that want to study these frightening but beautiful creatures. Being the leader of the Dance Dance Religion he added an amendment that allows him to take these monkeys as his wives and to legally keep the scientists and celebrities at bay.

Danny currently resides on a planet of his own making. A world of pure energy. Where chaos is king, and sadness is queen, and the prince is made mostly of violence and pain. Where the rivers run with with Thom Kha soup, the sad monkeys cry peanut butter tears and dance is the only form of communication.

Forever in research,
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